


(inspired-by sequel)

by Anonymous



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-31
Updated: 2012-01-31
Packaged: 2017-10-30 09:35:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/330306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/





	(inspired-by sequel)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [6 times martin failed his pilot's exam](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/6623) by Anonymous. 



Douglas entered the portacabin just in time. Few things could instil fear in his heart, but the sight before him froze his blood cold.

"Martin, no!"

Martin stopped, looking guilty; the fork in his hand wavered above the steaming casserole.

"Martin, that... thing was cooked by Arthur! And I use that verb merely for expediency."

Martin winced.

"I know, Douglas, but... It's still _food_. The physical's in three days!"

Douglas raised his eyebrows.

"I thought the point about _Arthur_ being the author of the monstrosity in your plate is that it no longer qualifies as food, if it ever did to begin with."

"Oh, come on, it- it can't be that bad," Martin protested, rather unconvincingly.

"Well then, I'll just stand by and watch as you undo the ingestive work of the past four days by getting food poisoning, shall I?"

Martin grimaced. The fork descended slowly towards the lumpy substance.

"Actually, I won't watch," Douglas continued relentlessly. "I've just remembered why I'm an _airline pilot_ and not a doctor. I doubt that exquisite meal can look any worse coming out, but I don't care to find out for sure.  Bon appetit, mon Capitain."

"Oh, all right!" Martin dropped the plastic fork on the plate, then stood up and threw the whole thing in the bin. "But I'm still in uncertain territory, weight-wise!"

"Hmm. You can have my meal, if you give me your cheesecake on the first flight after the physical."

"Really?" Martin eyed him suspiciously. "You'll skip a meal?"

"Oh, I'll have a bit of fresh salad. Variety, spice of life, and all that."

"No-no-no, this smells like a scheme. What do you get out of this?"

Douglas looked down at Martin as loftily as he could.

"Other than cheesecake in the near future and the mild amusement of seeing you inhale double portion today? Well, let's say I'm as invested in your preserving your licence as you are. Carolyn could never find another captain as entertaining as you, Martin."

"Thank you," Martin said dryly. "Douglas, I haven't seen you eat chocolate bars in, oh, about four days. Isn't that an interesting coincidence?"

"Nothing coincidental about it. You've been exterminating them all since, oh, about four days ago."

"I couldn't get all of them before you, especially not those that were in your pocket."

"I am kind and generous like that."

"Hmm," Martin hummed, way too smugly. "There's an upper weight limit as well as a lower one, you know."

Douglas narrowed his eyes.

"Is there, now? I doubt that can be of any concern to you, the man whose uniform could wrap twice around him with room to spare."

"No, no, not to _me_... But changing the subject entirely - do you happen to have an extra KitKat?"

Douglas sighed.

"Here. And you owe me the chocolate mousse on the second flight after the physical."


End file.
